Friendships

Wow okay couldn't wait to post on here - this morning I listened to Focus on the Family (Christian radio program) and it was in regards to Women's Friendships - and boy oh boy did it hit home with me! It opened my eyes to something that I have been lacking in my life for the past few months - women friends.

I learned a lot from this program - the woman being interview is Dee Brestin - a popular public speaker and the author of The Friendships of Women and its sequel, We Are Sisters. She has written numerous other books and Bible study guides, including Forever in Love with Jesus (co-authored with music artist Kathy Troccoli). Dee has five children and four grandchildren and lives in Nebraska. Her husband, Steve, passed away in October, 2004. (so I would really love to read her book).

Anyways it talked about our need as women for intimacy with other women through friendships. We often find that when we get married (and I can totally relate to this) we depend solely on our husbands to fulfill our needs for intimacy - but we are wrong - they can't.

I am so thankful that I have a friend - April - who does provide me with this friendship (you are an awesome friend April - one I can call up and talk for hours and feel better once I get off the phone). But the problem is we are 6 hours away from each other. And I tend to get scared to reach out and make new friends where ever I am and I guess I never totally understood the importance for me to have friends to get together with on a weekly basis.

Dr. Dobson talked about how women go through depression often because of this - I think thats when my ears perked up - I have been feeling down and out and wanting to get out and do something but didn't know what to do - and now I understand I need girl time! I hope that the Lord will allow Fred and I to go to Kingston so that April and I can be closer and have more of "seeing each other" relationship again. But I also realize that I need to step out of my comfort zone and reach out to other women as well. Sandie Daley has been one of those women to me up here - willing to talk, shop, whatever - but we both got so busy we stopped - I must make a point of getting together with her.

So after hearing this program I understand part of my "down" feelings lately. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and ears to this! I found this article on the site after wards and wanted to post it here so I can come back and remember what was revealed to me.



What Women Need
A look at friendship and fun
by Andrea Vinley Jewell (www.family.org - Focus on the Family website)

I hadn’t laughed so much since . . .

On this blazing July afternoon, I was eating lunch with a group of ladies near Santa Clarita, Calif. Their depth of friendship and exuberance made me long for a similar group in my hometown. I longed for women I could laugh with, take a break with and play games with. I longed for friends with whom I could easily share my frustrations and struggles.

Their secret isn’t mysterious or elusive, but the result of their intentional efforts. Connie, Valerie, Andrea, Shawn, Deb and Lisa—now known as a MomTime group — have been meeting for lunch and games for more than six years. Connie, Valerie and Lisa started the original group more than 12 years ago.

MomTime gatherings grew from Lisa Whelchel’s love of board games, something not shared by her husband. “I had to go outside our marriage to find game partners,” she says. “So I invited Connie, Valerie, another friend and my mother over for an afternoon. It grew to once a week, including lunch. After that, it was more than just the games. It was the time to talk and the close relationships.”

“I joined because I had young kids, and it sounded like a lot of fun,” Connie says. “I love playing games, but it was unusual to meet [other] moms who were playing.” Valerie joined for similar reasons. As a stay-at-home mom, she also needed a break from her house.

The weekly tradition became a turning point in Lisa’s life. “Until then, I’d never had friends,” she says. “My mother was always my best friend. That’s all I needed. Then I got married, and I thought all I needed was my husband. I resigned myself to the fact that I was the kind of person who had just one friend — until I started my MomTime group. I surprised myself, or God surprised me. I love having friends.”

Lisa and the others enjoyed their get-togethers so much that Lisa took their idea, named and structured it and began encouraging other women to start groups. The friendships Lisa had developed, the fun they experienced and the break from busy life made such a difference that she knew other women needed the same things: food, faith, fellowship and fun.

“When we come to MomTime, we let go of the stresses of life,” Valerie says. “In essence, we leave the world behind and go into our own world of renewal and joy.”

“So many women, in order to process, need to talk out loud,” Lisa adds. “This is a safe environment for that. It’s a healthy place to talk.”

“We all need moments to forget about our struggles or toddlers or teenagers,” Connie says.

Like most moms, Connie would rarely see her friends if it weren’t for MomTime. “With a busy family, it’s hard to get together with friends on a regular basis. This commitment [to MomTime] allows us to keep in touch and enjoy each other’s company.”

To Connie the most important aspect of MomTime is having trustworthy friends, especially when she recalls her life not too long ago. She spent most of one year in a hospital with medical problems. Her MomTime friends took care of Connie’s kids and helped her through the tough situation.

“Those times are really important,” Valerie says. “When someone is carrying something so heavy, then we put the games aside. It becomes a time of ministry.”

But apart from serious matters, Lisa says that at the end of most MomTime meetings she’s exhausted from laughing. “It’s like the old pressure cooker thing. Touch any little tense spot, and you’re ready to release. We release a lot through laughter.”

• • •

Since my visit to Santa Clarita, I haven’t found a MomTime group, especially since I have no children. On the other hand, I have found some wonderful friends to laugh and share life with.